Trigger Warnings. Some people abide by them, request them, honor them. Some feel like they are useless, a waste of time. catering to a “wimpy” generation. However you may feel about them, it’s almost impossible to escape the fact that our society has its problems that many are uncomfortable discussing or dealing with. Maybe people have pasts filled with trauma, which can be brought to the surface at any moment by something as small as a photograph, a smell, a word. Whether you include trigger warnings in your writing or discussions is entirely up to you. But how do you escape being triggered when your entire career is filled with them? Alexandria Marzano-Lesnivich deals with this very question in her memoir/true crime book.
As a child, Alexandria was molested by a family member for several years. The description is gut-wrenching and difficult to read, even for a person who has never been through a similar experience. And when Alexandria becomes an adult, she decides to be a defense attorney, having to defend the very same kind of person: a child molester. She is a law student when she first encounters the story of Ricky Langley, a convicted child molester who also killed a young boy. The story of Ricky isn’t as cut and dry as you might think. When Ricky’s mom was pregnant, she was in the hospital following a car accident, pumped full of dozens of drugs. She nor the doctors knew she was pregnant. Ricky has been mentally troubled since he was a child, thinking his older brother, though dead from the same car accident, would come and speak to him. And although Ricky wasn’t found legally insane, Alexandria asks whether or not he deserves the punishment bestowed upon him.
As the story evolves, more of Ricky’s story and Alexandria’s story unfolds. In her effort to try and understand Ricky and his motivation, she is forced to deal with her own trauma and her feelings towards her own molester. As difficult as the subject matter of this book is, I still highly recommend it because of how beautifully it is written, how well-researched it is, and how far Alexandria is willing to go in her own discovery of herself and of this case. I love a good true crime book, and this one is one of the better ones I’ve read in awhile.